What the fuck?

So I went to this pizza place today and got the lunch special, two slices and a non-alcoholic beverage of my choice...I went with a Pepsi. So I am sitting at the table, fucking around on my iPhone, when the lady drops the check off. I look over and there is a Tootsie-Roll on the check. What the fuck? A motherfuckin' Tootsie fooo reallll? Was this supposed to be like a free dessert? Personally I would like it if people stuck with an Andes mint or just the original Peppermint Swirl.

Oh and she also asked me, and I quote, "You want some more Pepsi, Papi?" Huh? Did you just call me fucking Papi? To the readers, I don't look like a 'Papi' at all. I live in southwest Florida and I am the whitest thing walking around this area. You'll have that when a Polish man and an Irish woman produce a child. I can see my veins working on my inner thighs. Listen server lady, I am Magish you dumb bitch, get it right or pay the price!